it's whatever.

Me: "Maybe they'll get a full cardboard cut-out of you for the wedding."

Adam: "Those are actually surprisingly cheap . . . so are full-body leotards."

Me: "What?"

Adam: "Just going down the list of things that are surprisingly cheap."

#GemsFromKate

(This is a legitimate hashtag I've created on twitter. Look it up.)

"My friend is wishing happy birthday to her husband on facebook, and I'm just like, 'I don't even have a husband.'"

"A guy like THAT? If you're gonna have an affair at least- ...nevermind."

"Wow! Look at Mrs. Brady's PANTS!"

"If Kennedy's life has taught me anything, it's that anybody can blow your head off at anytime and you should let your true emotions flow."

"Also, fat people should never pose provocatively."

Me: "I'm a failure." Kate: "Repeat that to yourself 3 times a day and then say, 'And Kate is a success.'"

"Kate is pregnant! ...Middleton."

(as she's supposed to be writing a talk at 2 in the morning)

"FYI, all of Saturday's Warrior is on youtube."

Kate: "Maybe someday they'll come up with a form of folk dance where it's just teenage girls dancing around late at night." Me: "...After they get texts from cute boys."

"I've missed you, body pillow!"

Me: "Yeah, a lot of girls fall for him."

Christian: "It's his stupid jawline, I'm telling you. It's not fair."

Sarah: "I LOOK AT YOUR BUM!"

Boyfriend: "That's... great."

Me: "I can just imagine Laura running through the streets of Kansas... I don't even know what the streets of Kansas look like."

Kate: "They look like normal streets. (pause) Except they're paved with yellow brick."