epiphany

You know those moments when something just smacks you real hard in the face?

And suddenly, as you sit there writing a BS paper at 1 in the morning, you realize that you're doing it all wrong.

You realize you are the world's biggest slacker, the world's best procrastinator. You realize you can get by the skin of your teeth in all things, and that's what you've been doing your entire college experience.

And you realize you don't even feel a thing when you accidentally forget to turn in an assignment online, or when you score a 14 out of 20 on yet another astronomy quiz. And school and homework is just this mind-numbing process you go through every day, but only just barely. Because you don't ever push yourself.

And you realize you spend way too much time online and stalking pictures of people you don't even care about, and not enough time figuring out what you actually care about and pursuing that. And you realize that you have so much potential and wasting your life like this is not how it's supposed to be.

And you realize that maybe if you stopped eating so unhealthy again and started drinking your water and eating your fruits and vegetables and working out you'd feel even better than you do now.

And you realize that getting to bed this late can no longer be an option. And your afternoons can't be spent watching Food Network, but they need to be spent studying for that test you have coming up because heaven knows you shouldn't be cramming like you always do.

And you realize you can't wait until you're dying to figure out how to live.

Because this Earth is beautiful. And it's here for your benefit. And the changing leaves are meant to be enjoyed. But not just on your hurried walk to school when you occasionally look up and think, "Wow," but once your homework is finished and you can go for a leisurely walk in a coat and a scarf and just enjoy the season.

And this university is grand and these people are lovely and the time is now and you've got to apply yourself.

Now.


Yeah, those are fun.

Stormy Weather.

I love it.

I mean, somedays it's terrible. When you wake up already feeling bummed and the weather is gray it tends to not be so fun.

But when you wake up in a wonderful mood and feel confident and happy and excitement as you pull out sweaters and your umbrella, this fall weather can't be beaten.

I just want to skip all over campus and sing songs.

But I won't, because that would be weird.

Speaking of which, I passed a drama class having a class outside and performing Shakespeare, and even though I definitely can appreciate Shakespeare, I was so glad I wasn't there with them. So happy to not be in that situation. It's not what I want.

Yesterday I had to take the Audio Library Tour for Freshman.

Which is code for MOCKERY OF YOUR FRESHMAN STATUS AS YOU WANDER THE LIBRARY WITH HEADPHONES.

It's required for my writing class. Boo. So when they said "Walk into the most crowded place in the library and stand in the middle, slowly turning in circles while everyone giggles to themselves and thinks, 'Poor Freshman'", I actually just stayed back by the stairs and leaned casually on the wall, trying to look like I was just an indie kid with some old headphones.

I don't think I fooled many people.

Oh well. It's over.

If you happen to live around here, feel free to come watch the Homecoming parade on Saturday at 10. You might even catch me doing some rockin Bollywood with the Folk Dancers. And I know that's something you've always wanted to see.

Oh, yeah. Fall also makes me want to be in love.

What a shame.

coming our way

Fall is in the air.

I can feel it when I step outside - the crisp feeling in the air.
Do you feel it too?
I feel it in the way I suddenly got one of those winter colds.
Outside the window, our pumpkin vines now have spots of orange.

The sunflowers are dying.
The flip flops are going back in the closet.
I can't stay up late anymore due to school.

BUT.

The leaves will be turning soon.
I get to pull out my darling jackets and coats.
And school is actually fun.
Friday night football games.
Sadie Hawkins.
Homecoming.

I love seasons. After living in Arizona for much of my life, I can't tell you how nice it is to live in a state where the weather changes with the passing months. It's no longer hot, hot, a little less hot, perfect, and then hot again. In Utah I get hot, perfect, windy, cold, brisk, freezing, snowy, warming up, perfect, light breezes, and then the cycle starts over again. I get beautiful flowers and bright green grass. Majestic mountains that are splashed with oranges, reds, and yellows. Snow-capped peaks in the winter. The way the snow looks after a storm when it lands on each branch of every tree. Beautiful sunsets and brilliant thunderstorms.

I realized I don't like it when people start getting sick of a season. I did it for a while: "Eww. More snow? When will it ever end?!" But I realized last year that I'm really grateful for the snow. I'm really grateful for the fact that I get to appreciate these seasons again and again. So what if it snows in May? That just makes my life more exciting.

And that's why I'm alright with saying goodbye to summer.

Yeah, it was unbelievable. The best summer I've ever had. Full of friends and pools and camps and family and late nights and movies and adventures like never before.

...But I think this fall has things in store for me too.