So yeah, since we last talked, I got engaged, I got married, and I got pregnant. All of it was wonderful and the happiest. That guy in the last post that's looking at me really cute is the one I married, and consequently the father of my unborn child. Baby doesn't have a gender yet (well s/he does, but we just don't know it yet), but s/he sure is active. Sometimes I'll read stuff online about a lot of first time mothers don't feel their baby move until they are 20-22 weeks along, but the first time I felt the lil' cutie was about 16 weeks. And now I'm so aware of it and can even feel it when I place my hand on my stomach. It's surreal and honestly the coolest thing I've ever felt.
In other news, I declared a major (American Studies), and Donald Trump is now our president. I'm still reeling about that, honestly. When I tell people I'm an American Studies major the classic assumption is that I'm just this really patriotic American elitist or something, but in all reality, my classes have led to more of a disenchantment with America than me fastening flags to the back of my car. That's not to say I don't have a great patriotism and love for this country, because I do. It's just that in addition to that I've studied a lot of the really hard history of our country, and I've realized how much of this great land we live in really isn't as great as most of us white people seem to think. I guess I've just come to the conclusion that focusing only on the good may help you feel better for a little bit, but in the long run nothing really gets accomplished unless we first admit to faults.
I'll be quiet now. I try not to post too many political things on fb, but I also might be someone you hate on fb who likes a lot of political posts, causing them to appear on your newsfeed. And I've kind of just come to accept it.
So yeah, marriage is wonderful because being fully accepted and loved by someone is a really incredible thing to experience. The other night I just started crying for no reason (I'd say partly because I was pregnant, and partly because I was feeling some anxiety/depression), and husband just picked me up and let me sit in his arms for 20 minutes until I calmed down. After I said I had no idea what was wrong when he inquired, we both just stayed quiet and didn't say a thing. Mostly I just listened to his heartbeat.
I hope you all are doing well, though there's probably nobody out there reading this (cause you know, blogs), and I hope things just get better and better. Don't compare yourself to others and don't spend too much time on social media. I've realized I'm most anxious and overwhelmed when I do that.
