i'm officially in my twenties and that's just weird.

Summer is awesome because when it's at it's best it's no makeup, hair that smells like chlorine, and just the right amount of sunburn. Summer is also hard because (among other things), my life has far less structure, which then makes my blog posts far less structured too. Not that much changes from day to day for me, so it's hard to feel like I have anything worth sharing here. Which isn't true, of course. Thoughts and feelings are always worth sharing and who the heck cares if what I write here is riveting, because it's my blog anyway which means I can do what I want (#yolo).

I only have 9 more days of work left, which has it's pros and cons. The sad part about a job you only work at for a few months is that right when you start to really get the hang of things and love the people you work with, it's time to leave. That really stinks. Also no more free desserts, that also stinks. Then again, that's also a pro because I'm completely serious when I say I've gained some weight since starting work at the bakery. Another pro is that I won't have to wake up at 4:10 anymore. Because there is absolutely no way you can slice 4am to make it enticing, there just isn't.

In between these 9 days of work left, there is a really anticipated trip to Oregon, which I am thrilled for because 1) first vacation of the summer, 2) the tillamook cheese factory, 3) a week with my family, which is the best, and 4) Daniel is getting back off his mission.

Daniel. My favorite cousin, the one I'd be friends with even if we weren't related, the one we make really cheesy but also cool movies with, the one who I have so many inside jokes with my cousin once told us she can't follow our conversations on facebook at all. That Daniel. To say I am excited would be an understatement. This is the man that will someday be my fellow Divine Comedian (once we both make it - note to blog readers: goal). It's been a long time since I saw him, and Oregon never felt the same without him there, so this is going to be the trip of a lifetime. That's a hyperbole, because it's really not a huge deal, but whatever.

I turned twenty on Tuesday, which is super cool and super intimidating too. For pretty much as long as I can remember, when people have asked me my age the answer has ended in "teen". Maybe you can remember saying you were 8 or 9 or whatever, but I sure can't. THIS IS A BIG CHANGE PEOPLE, and it's going to be like this for the next ten years of my life. Also, the twenties are so officially "adult". There's no excusing lame behavior with "well, she's technically still a teen", but rather it's more like "why in the world is she incapable of washing her sheets as often as she should, she's twenty!". Cry with me and say goodbye to teenagehood. You did me well, 19. Phew, 19 was a big year, can we just talk about that? Lots happened and I really grew and found myself in ways I didn't fully expect or anticipate. Plus, a year ago who would have been able to predict I would be preparing for a mission right now? The prophet, maybe, that's who.

Which, oh yeah - I'm going on a mission! So thrilled, more on that later though (I think it deserves it's own post, which I will do after I receive my call, which should be in 2-3 weeks).

Anyway, let's all just raise a glass to the teenage years, which included my first real job, my first kiss, graduation from high school, my first speeding ticket, my first year of college, learning to clog, declaring a major, and ugh, puberty.

And let us toast the twenties! Which holds who knows what, I'm not going to assume marriage and stuff because then if it didn't happen in the next ten years I'd look back and be like "ah, how embarrassing" and then I'd go feed my pet cat and sleep in my unwashed sheets.

Cheers and stuff.

the long and short of it

If this summer had an official name, it'd probably be something like "Wasting My Life Away And Having An Epiphany Every Other Day That I'm Wasting My Life Away".

But really.

Today was supposed to be so productive and full of things that really need to happen, but then it wasn't. I suppose I babysat Amalie to help Trina be productive, so that counts for something, right? But then out of the blue I have get this headache that decides to just stick around for a while. And now it's after 8 and I haven't eaten dinner but nothing really sounds good right now. Actually, a lot sounds good right now, but nothing that sounds good also sounds worth the effort - you know the days? So who knows if I'm even going to eat dinner tonight.

But enough with the moaning. I want to tell you about my weekend, because it was one of the best ever, one of those weekends where you're just like, "that was precisely what I needed" and you begin the week feeling rejuvenated and whole.

The 4th of July is probably one of my favorite holidays, but I never remember that until it comes around and then I think, "oh that's right - I love this day!", which is always a pleasant surprise, I suppose. It's full of food and family and usually a fair amount of outdoor fun, and those things are the absolute best, in my book.

Thursday started with work, but I didn't even mind all that much. Afterwards I got ready lickety-split and was able to catch the end of the parade, and then for lunch there was a barbecue with ward friends and boy do I like them. The afternoon/evening was spent in Alpine with my family hosting our very first Lewis gathering in our new house. Which, if you know Lewis gatherings, is quite the event. This was awesome in and of itself because we were never able to play host in our old house because we lacked the entertainment space, but now we've got it and finally being able to do that was a wonderful feeling. We ate delicious food and played volleyball in the backyard and in the evening after everyone had left, just the immediate family headed over to a park to watch fireworks. We were there because that was one of the designated places in Alpine that fireworks were allowed, but honestly I think that's how it should be every year because it was just this big firework fest that of families sharing their fireworks in a totally unorganized fashion and I loved it.

I had work off Friday, which meant I was able to spend the night at home, which honestly meant so much and made me enjoy my 4th so much more, knowing I didn't have to race back to Provo that evening. I woke up to a phone call from best friend Christian inviting me to go to Deer Creek with his family and spend the day on their waverunners. And really, can you say no to that? So that's just what I did, and it was so wonderful. Cafe Rio and Harry Potter in the evening with my family, so enough said.

Saturday morning my family went to the temple to do baptisms, and it was Cami's first time. Boy oh boy was that amazing. What an experience to be there with the people I love the most, and to see Cami there for the first time. Needless to say, we were all emotional. IHOP afterwards where Natalie was in one of her silly moods, and let me tell you - those are the best. Star Trek in the afternoon with friends and back to Provo. Sunday was wonderful as well, as it always is.

You know the biggest realization I came to this weekend? My family members are my favorite people in the whole world. Given the choice of who to hang out with, I would honestly choose them. I'm lucky enough not only to love my siblings and parents, but to like them as well. I would hang out with them over my friends any day because I get along with them the best, and I genuinely enjoy their company. I don't know how many people in the world can say that, but there sure are a lot that can't, and I'm so grateful I'm able to. I brought this up to my sister and she pointed out how much that says about the way our parents raised us. She's right, of course - so thanks, Mom and Dad.

Anyway, this summer is turning out to be one of the best ever, despite a lot of challenging things. I'm learning more about hard work and self-discipline than ever, and I'm grateful for these experiences. Life is good, despite this headache.

mixed berry pie and volleyball

Five days ago I started working at the BYU Bakery making desserts. That's right - my official title is legitimately "Dessert Specialist", aren't you jealous? You should be, because there are some days where they "mess up" some mixed berry pies by making them "too sweet" and so then I end up having a delicious breakfast (that's really bad for me but yolo and stuff).

And this week has been full of mixed emotions. I mean, my alarm goes off at 4am so I can make sure I have enough time to ride my bike across campus and get there by 5, when my shift starts. And that's just, you know, awful. Because there's no scenario where waking up at 4am 5 days a week all summer is enjoyable, there just isn't. And sometimes I think to myself, "Why in the world did you take this job?" and then I think of how this is going to be the next three months of my life and I almost lose it. But then once I get there and am making things, it's awesome. Because where else can you make 43 sheets of brownies for the missionaries at the MTC? And food - I mean, you all know that's my favorite. 

So then when I get off my shift around 9 or 10 and ride back through campus I'm thinking "Wow! People are just waking up and I've already accomplished so much!". And I have this super cute beach cruiser bike I'm borrowing from my sister for the summer, which is awesome (and really bad with hills, since I know you were wondering what the bike to work is like). But then I get home and cancel out all that good by taking a nap. And once I wake up I'm like "What's the point of getting ready if I'm not even going to be able to socialize tonight since I have to get to bed early?", so I sort of mope about how awful my life is. 

But it's not. And I know that. And I really am so so grateful I have the opportunity to work at the bakery. The job itself is not at all bad - I really really like it, I like the people I work with, and I like dessert. Really I just need to get used to this schedule and figure out what works for me. Also working at a bakery is awful for trying to stay healthy because 1) "messed up" dessert, and 2) my shift covers the best time to work out. But, you know, I'll figure it out. Eventually. 

In other news, nothing. This week was all about work. 

Okay I guess that's a bit of an exaggeration. My brother Garrett graduated from high school last night, which is awesome. And also last weekend was so wonderful and Monday the Lewis family played 7 full games of backyard volleyball (this is a really big deal that I participated in all of them because the rest of my family happens to be athletic prodigies and I'm the one who makes a fool of herself most of the time). BUT. I just went for it (growth mindset, yo), and it was so fun. Lots of rounds such as married vs. non-married, and Lone Peak vs. the world (half of our families live in Alpine and attend Lone Peak). Also, COOKIES. That wasn't the name of a round of volleyball or anything, but we had literally hundreds of cookies leftover from my cousin's farewell the day before (and that's not even a misuse of the word literally). 

Anyway, life is good, dessert is good, and family is good. The end.