retard.

Generally speaking, I would consider myself to be a passive person; when presented with a frustrating situation, I can usually laugh it off. However, just because I don’t react in an outward form, does not mean that my feelings are any less passionate than another. I simply purse my lips and stay silent, because I feel that my opinion will mean nothing to others, and their loud voices will quickly override mine. Because of this, it could be surprising to know that every time I hear the word “retard”, inner turmoil ensues. Typically, I want to do one of two things: politely ask them to use some other, less derogatory term, or slap them across the face (this feeling is reserved for those who blatantly use the word in reference to a mental disability).

When I was seven, my mother had her fifth child. It was quite the affair for me; last time I’d gained a sibling, I was merely four years old, and didn’t have much to remember about the pregnancy or birth. So it was with the anticipation and excitement only a seven-year-old could have that I drove to the hospital with my family. I remember the moment distinctly. We were traveling an overpass when my dad, more taciturn than usual, told us. He used these words to describe my new little sister: beautiful, healthy, and special. In my naïve mind, I remember being confused as my dad explained how she was going to be different. I couldn’t understand what he was trying to say, much less why he was tearing up about it. Down syndrome? What was that, anyway? Slowly, it began to dawn on me. I was able to piece together what little experience I had with the mentally disabled; instances in the lunchroom where I had incomprehensively laughed along with my friends. Was my sister going to end up in a wheelchair, sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, the brunt of crude jokes? Before I knew it, I was crying, too.

As the years have passed, I’ve come to understand the mentally disabled much morethan I did that January day. My sister is nothing more complicated to me than that – a sister. She is not my sister with Down syndrome, my younger sister who is different, or the sister who is handicapped. She is simply my sister - she is Cami. The love I feel for her is no different than the love I feel for anyone else. She has brought a closeness and happiness into our family that we often take for granted. It has forever altered my life and my perspective of the world around me. Now I have a strong opinion of the use of the word “retard”.

As Soeren Palumbo put it, “In such an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok?” Soeren, sibling of a girl with a mental handicap, delivered a powerful speech in March 2007 to his high school regarding the word “retard”,much of what I say is inspired by that speech. He told a story of two girls in his school who saw a young man washing the windows of their school. The first remarked, “I think it’s so cute that our school brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows.” The second then turned and said, “Hey Negro! You missed a spot!” Tell me, does this hit home at all? Are you appalled that these girls were able to get away with such a remark? You should be. However, let me add in one important detail - the girls did not say “Negro”, and the boy was not black. Instead, he was someone with a disability, and they called him “retard”. Had it indeed been an issue or racism, the boy could have turned around and defended himself. He could have turned around and explained how wrong racism is.

As Soeren put it, “Discrimination against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend themselves.”

The true definition of the word “retard” is, according to Webster’s Dictionary, “to make slow; delay the development or progress of; hinder”. By the fourth definition, a slang term has been reached: “a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective”. In a simple few lines, the word morphs into something ugly. If the word retarded was associated with the mentally disabled because they develop slower than the norm, what is it then saying about using the word “retard” to refer to something stupid in general?

It is not the word “retard” itself that offends me and so many others, but the abuse of it. One could argue that the word “Negro” means “black” in Spanish, and they only refer to the color of their skin when using this term to describe an African-American. Still, the historical abuse of the word has altered it’s definition into crude name-calling. To say someone is mentally retarded is, indeed, correct; mentally, they function slower. However, history has corrupted the word “retard”.

You may say to yourself, “I would never call someone with a disability a retard. I would never make fun of their differences.” Where then, is the line?

If it is accepted that the word “retard” is a degoratory term used to identify the mentally handicapped, “retarded” must then be accepted as a word that describes such a person. Describing something as “retarded” is then the equivalent of saying “That’s autistic”.

Does it make it excusable to add a simple two letters to the world “retard”? Is the meaning and connotation completely changed when you say “That’s retarded”? Urban Dictionary is an online dictionary that acknowledges and defines the connotations associated with words in today’s slang. The definition it lends for retard is “A person born with a mental condition . . . [who] will usually suffer a lot of ridicule from society . . . Those who choose to make fun . . . tend to be complete morons.” Nice, right? Makes you feel all warm and cozy inside because you know there are good people in the world who definitely understand the delicacies of the word. Look then, at the definition they lend for the world “retarded”: “An ‘unofficial’ (not recognized by dictionaries) slang descriptor of a person/thing/action/object . . . which is more or one of the following”, going on to list literally hundreds of descriptors, such as: “a waste of time, babyish, brainless, common, hopeless, insignificant, laughable, mediocre, lame, unsatisfactory, and worthless”. Worthless.

In today’s world, the younger generation uses the word “retarded” to describe a number of things. A teacher grades a test in unfairly and the student says “It’s retarded”. A girl forgets to come to a meeting at an appointed time and hurriedly explains, “Sorry, I’m retarded.”

Of course, the incorrect use of the word “retarded” is not an ultimatum, and I am sure some people do use it correctly - to describe something that is slower than normal. Perhaps you are one of those people who do not associate the word with the mentally disabled, consciously, or subconsciously.

Remember then, that others may still associate it as such. Remember then, that someone with a personal relationship with a mentally disabled child may be standing nearby. Remember that, still worse, someone who holds the handicap themselves may be listening; someone who has heard that word used as a derogatory term against themselves. Someone who has had to endure ridicule and jokes throughout their lives. Someone who will never have the same opportunities you have because of their circumstances. Someone who’s level of love is so high you and I will never be able to comprehend it.

Historically, it was politically correct to refer to an African-American as a Negro; it was what they asked to be called. And later, when that word no longer was a simple identifier, but a derogatory reference, they asked for the term Blacks. Now, the term deemed politically correct is African-Americans. Meanings change as time passes, and history taints a word’s connotation. The mentally handicapped alone are unable to speak up. They alone are unable to ask for a correction to how they are referenced, to ask for a recall on a word that is now hateful and ugly. Instead, it becomes the duty of those who care for, love, and know these people.