so long and farewell

Well, bliggity bloggers, it's time to say goodbye.

But just for 18 months. While I've decided not to have a mission blog where a family member posts my weekly letter, I fully intend on sinking myself back into this blog when I finish my full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here's to hoping blogging is still a relevant thing when I return.

These last few weeks have been some of the weirdest of my life. I feel like I've been stuck in limbo, almost unsure of my identity. I mean, am I a missionary? Am I a student? I don't really know. Seeing all my friends start school again and knowing I wasn't there with them proved much harder than I expected. It turns out I really love BYU and all the friends I've made these past two years (no surprise there). While I know the school will still be there when I return, as will many of the friends, I also know a lot will have changed. Though I'm already excited to meet those new friends I'll make in a couple years, I'm very aware of the friends that will have moved on. In good ways, of course. I'm bidding adieu to one of the best roommates ever, Kate, because she gets to move in with her best roommate ever and love of her life, Jared. Most of the time I think "Yay, I'm so happy for her!" but every once in a while I want to sabotage everything just so I can keep her a few more years.

But one thing that's proved comforting during goodbyes is knowing I'll see people again. For those friends I'm so incredibly close to, it's not that difficult to say goodbye because I realize that these are friends I'll be in contact with for the rest of my life. And sorry this is all so cheesy, but it's my last post for a year and a half and I think I deserve some cheese, don't you?

I'm not even going to talk about or think about saying goodbye to my family, because we're all in denial and acting as if our lives won't change forever in 2 days. Suffice it to say I might give the weather forecast on Wednesday (rain) a run for it's money.

I mean, today at breakfast I couldn't even hold it together as we ate french toast. And there's something to be said when you cry 10+ times during sacrament meeting, including in the middle of the primary program when they're singing that super annoying song that's basically just "never forget to pray" repeated over and over again and you're like, "please make it stop", but the next thing you know you're crying because, by golly you should never forget to pray! Or how about when the kids sing "I am a child of God" and tears are suddenly streaming down your face as you think, "I am a child of God!"

I guess all I'm saying is that I really love my family and my school and my friends and my life I'm leaving behind, so I promise you I wouldn't be doing this if I a) didn't know this church was true, and b) didn't know that a mission is exactly what God wants for me right now.

So long, my good and faithful blog. I'm off to gain some more scope for the imagination.