the audition

Sometimes, it's really healthy for us to do things that scare us out of our wits (I apologize ahead of time if any of this post is a repeat from last post - I don't remember exactly what I said and I'm not going to take the time to look it up).

Friday night, I did something like that and auditioned for Divine Comedy, the comedy sketch troupe at my school. It was absolutely terrifying. I've known for about a year that I wanted to do this, but I swayed back and forth on actually following through for such a long time. The past month has been the worst, as I realized auditions were legitimately approaching and I should probably begin working on my audition. I procrastinated, of course, and ended up writing my audition piece Tuesday, memorizing Thursday, and then performing it Friday.

What a comfort it is to have such incredible friends that never stopped cheering me on to do something they knew I wanted to, and that I was capable of. They came over and watched the piece, gave me feedback, provided much-needed pep talks (special thanks to the fabulous roommates [and more specifically Alyssa, who was pretty much calming me down the entire walk to auditions], and my wonderful sister and mother). I'm not someone who gets nervous very often, especially when it has to do with performing or getting up in front of crowds, so this was really surprising for me. I think the difference about this audition was that, 1) I wanted it so badly, 2) I had written the piece and therefore the responsibility fell on me if it flopped, with no one else to blame, and 3) It was an attempt to be funny, relying on your own wit, which frankly is just plain vulnerable.

Well, my audition actually went really well. I walked into the room (packed full of people, as it was an open-audition format where people could come and watch), and calmed down a lot more when I started watching performances. I was thinking, "Okay, I can do this, I really can." My wonderful sister and brother-in-law came and watched, trusty roommate Alyssa was sitting next to me the whole time, hallmates from last year were dispersed throughout the audience, and my other roommate and friend even interrupted their date to come watch. Of course, as soon as they called my block of numbers to come forward, I started feeling like I was going to throw up again. But, you know, old news.

And then I got up there and the adrenaline hit. And suddenly, people were laughing and I realized I hadn't written such a terrible piece after all. And it was amazing. I remembered why I was auditioning in the first place. I remembered that I love to perform, and that I love to make people laugh. And what a satisfaction it was to succeed in that regard.

Late that night, I received a phone call from DC team member Matt Meese (which, in and of itself, was such a cool moment such I pretty much consider him a celebrity in my book - HILARIOUS) telling me I had made it to callbacks the next morning. After a good measure of screaming, cheering, and dancing with my friends, I went to bed. At 9 the next morning, I was back in the Tanner Building ready to roll.

It's funny, because with a lot of people they might find the callbacks more terrifying than the auditions, but I felt the exact opposite. Remember the almost throwing up thing I had going on before? Well now I just felt calm and excited. We did some improv, then had 20 minutes to write a sketch with a group, and after that 30 minutes to write another, all the time being observed and cheered on by the team.

We had an hour and a half break, then came back to see the posted list of finalists, who would be spending all afternoon learning skits with the team, and preparing for a show that evening.

I didn't make the finalists list, guys. But you know what? I felt absolutely fine about it. I think when I tell people I'm happy and totally okay with it all, they think I'm hiding some deep sorrow. But I can honestly say that I'm not. I did my very best, and I have no regrets. I did something I was afraid of - I conquered a fear! And that is seriously the best reward. Even better, I had such an incredibly fun time doing it.

I've also been trying to figure out exactly what direction I want my life to go this year, and it's helpful to know that this is a good answer - that I can keep doing folk dance (at least this year), and that's where I'm supposed to be

So guys. There were 150 auditions, and 24 of us were called back. And if I ever want to feel even more conceited, I can always remember that there are 30,000 people on campus, and only 24 of us made it as far as I did. And that feels good.

If you want to see my audition video, follow this link! I'm sorry it's such bad quality (filmed on my phone), and it's sideways! I tried to fix it, I really did... But I failed. So if any of you are an expert in that area let me know. And for now you can either turn your head sideways, or flip your laptop.

Again, thanks to all of you - I couldn't have done it without your support!

And kudos to you if you read through this entire post. Much admiration going your way.