in which i am a pirate

So there I am.

Sitting at the computer, when I get a phone call from my mom (who is elsewhere) asking me to start the mashed potatoes for dinner.

I stand up, turn to Cami, and say, "Alright. Let's go."

"Where?" She asks.

"On a boat." I improvise.

"A boat??"

"A boat." (pause) "Arrrggg!!!! Avast ye... we're going to Potato Island!"

(pause)

Cami: "Potato Island?? No."

"Yes!"

"Noooo....."

"Yes! I'll show ye!"

I run down the hall, grab a quilt, and lay it out on the floor. I then hurry to my room and get the most stick-like object I can find, which is a giant metal sunflower meant to be in a garden.

I hop onto the quilt (our ship) and promptly yell at Cami to get on. At first she is hesitant, and disbelieving, but soon she's helping me get the ship ready for our journey.

Things come out of my mouth that sound sort of like something a pirate or sailor would yell, but mostly I just scream things like "Arg!" and "Matey!" while throwing in words like "Port!" and "Mast!"

We take off.

I use the stick to propel us forward, and we steer into the kitchen after hitting some rough waves (possibly an aftershock from the earthquake/tsunami?). We the proceed to hunt for the illusive red potatoes, which possess super-pirate strength if you eat them mashed. We find two bags in the pantry and - GASP! - we even find one incredibly rare brown potato!

I turn to Cami and say, "Call me Bootstrap Bill."

"Oh" she says, "Uh..."

"Shall I call you Captain Jack??"

"No."

"Captain Barbosa??"

"No! I'm not Barbosa!"

"What then?" I inquire.

"Call me.... Captain Hooky-face!!" she yells.

So I did.

We peeled these potatoes, one by one, thirsty for our pirate strength the entire time. We cut them, we threw them in a pot, and we set them on to boil. Then Cami borrowed my wand and sealed the pot shut, so no other pirates could get to it, with her pirate magic. She said Expecto Patronum, which is definitely the wrong spell, but I forgave her because we had just finished watching Harry Potter 3.

My mom is now making shepherd's pie in the kitchen, and Cami is next to me on the fireplace. She started out as faking dead - I think she wanted me to save her. But she quickly fell asleep.

And I feel content about my day off.